So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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