so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
