Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
