1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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