Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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