my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize