the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
