Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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