He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
