My friends, they love my intelligence
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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