Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
