margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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