Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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