he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
