why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
