I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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