Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
love makes seman taste better
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
