I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
