someone owes me an orgasm
she smelled like a LAN party
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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