yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everyone says I win the strip club
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize