Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
