Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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