why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
