marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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