i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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