You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wish there were birth control emojis
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
