Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
