im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Houston, we have a squirter
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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