come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
