Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
a search helicopter?!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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