Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize