glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
