Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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