My hand turned me down
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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