i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize