on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
