Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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