Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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