he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
