Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
