Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
