The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
