Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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