You're completely useless in the revolution.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
