He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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