if i can run in heels then i can drive
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
