so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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