it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
