Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
