I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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