i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There r osticjed everywhere
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
