I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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