Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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