Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize