do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
pop tarts are not kleenex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I will pee on everything he values.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
