So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
