I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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