i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize