And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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