I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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