This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
