hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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